Day od His Power

I have just returned from the Day of His Power... and I must say that this years Day of His Power is very much different from yesteryears... but bearing in mind that the program is more or less the same. So this proves that, program can remain the same, but the way God choses to visit is always different.... so it is very important to always have an open heart to receive from the Lord... don't let your knowledge restrict the way God will speak to you... :)

Anyway, if there's one take away from today... it would be when Pastor Khong asked, "Do you love Singapore?" and when he challenged us to always be true to our homeland and not be takers of the resources this land can or may provide. There and then, I asked myself... am I here just because I do not have the money to migrate? or am I here just because I hate changes therefore, I will just stay here? or am I here because I do know I have a calling in Singapore? The recent involvment in NDP has really made me have a sense of belonging to the country and I am glad to be part of this Nation.. and that made this years Day of His Power really impactful for me... and to end of, I am glad to say that I know my calling is for the Youths of Singapore. Well, the night ended with supper but also, a hard question to answer from Pastors... but I would say, I will take it up... isnt that what my calling is all about? hahaha.. :)

lost!

i lost my notes! i wonder where it went... sighs... :( cannot just disappear like that right? its in a box file somemore! the only possibility is..... i did not lock my car door and someone opened to take it.. but it sounds ridiculous right! hahaha. i have searched every possible areas... my car, my room, eve's house, the spare room, sis room, parents room... where else can it be! hahaha..

if it is taken from my car, there are only 2 things the person can be after:
1) my notes
2) my pen, pencil, ruler, eraser..

this sounds so unbelieveable... how can it just disappear... beats me!

anyway, i just printed the notes.. so its all from scratch again.. hahahaha.. God bless me!

今天

今天是明天的昨天，是昨天的明天.

clar, the above is for you! haha. and u are at the right blog! heehee!

anyway, today marks the 4th year after I was baptised. 23apr2009! I suddenly feel that 23 is a very meaningful number to me. One with the love-hate relationship. hahaha.. 4 years ago on the 23apr2005, I was batptised. Last year in ward 2311 on the 23nov2008, my Godpa passed away. All spoke of deaths... but one thing i am certainly thankful for is that 4 years ago on this very day, i died and rose again.... and life was never the same again. Baptism is definitely not the emo emo kinda event or one that u can feel a great change.. but it's a time when i chose in my heart that I am dead to self and alive in Christ... and I chose to live in the blessing and promises that God has for me. Askk me physically if anything changed? no... if there was a great surge of emotions... yes but not a lot.. but in my spirit.. something changed and i know my life belonged to the Lord... even as i sit here today, my prayer is that as i recount the past 4 years of my life, i will have many more of such years ahead... with my life totally yielded and trusting in the Lord.. Lord, may I always walk in your will guide me....

pray for me! exam tmr... haha..

take my five loaves and two fishes

Amazing Video with Amazing Voice...



Corrinne May - Five Loaves and Two Fishes Lyrics
"Beautiful Seed" album

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breadth that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
no gift is too small

All for you... :)

leaders?

am having quite an interesting sms chat with chuanz now.. ahaha.. am pondering on the words LEADERS and FAILURES...

failures makes you who u are today.
who you are today is how u repond to your failures at that point of time.
leaders emerge cos they see failures as an opportunity to grow and learn.

Choices

How we choose affects how we live our lives each day. For the many more hours of this days it'll be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. Choices, choices, choices... most of us really dread it.. some of us love it.. i definitely if given a choice wouldn't want the choice. but, life as it is, I must make a choice... Because of Calvary, I'm free to choose and so I choose.

EACH DAY

I CHOOSE GOD! :)
cos' He first chose me...

I CHOOSE LOVE...
No occasions justifies hatred;
No injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love.
Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...
I will invite my God to be the God of my circumstance.
I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker.
I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings,created by God.
I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity from God

I CHOOSE PEACE...
I will live forgiven. I will forgive that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE...
I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.
Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so.
Rather than complain that the wait is long, I'll thank God for the moment to pray.
Instead of clinching my fist at assignments, I'll face them with joy and courage.
When I drive, I will not curse and swear, I'll learn to release grace and patience. (whoever is in the car, you have the right to scold me! I hate it when I become impatient when I drive.)

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...
I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.
Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.
And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...
I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.
I will be overlooked before I will boast.
I will confess before I will accuse.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...
Today I will keep my promises.
I will be Faithful to the Faithful One
My friends will not regret their trust.
My parents will not question my love.
My siblings will know the God that I serve
And my spiritual children will never fear that I will not be around.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...
Nothing is won by force, I choose to be gentle.
If I raise my voice, may it only be praise.
If I clench my fist, may it only be prayer.
If I make a demand, may it only be of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...
I am a spiritual being...
After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.
I refuse to let way will rot, rule the eternal.
I choose self-control.
I will be drunk only by joy.
I will be impassioned on by faith.
I will be influenced only by God.
I will be taught only my Christ.
I will obey the Word of the Lord.
I choose self-control.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self-Control. To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek grace.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

This is the TRUTH

This is the Truth

this video speaks volumes. :)

Don't let your past rob you of being compassionate!

Many of us already do. Some of us have the master touch of the Physician himself. We use our hands to pray over the sick and minister to the weak.
But others of us tend to forget. Our hearts are good; it's just that our memories are bad. We forget how significant one touch can be. We fear saying the wrong things or using the wrong tone or acting the wrong way. So rather than to do it incorectly, we do nothing at all.
Aren't we glad Jesus didn't make the same mistake? If our fear of doing the wrong thing prevents us from doing anything, keep in mind the perspective of the people who needs God. They aren't picky. They aren't finicky. They are just lonely. They are yearning for a godly touch. Jesus touched the untouchables of the world. Will we be willing to do the same?

G12 Meeting and randomness....

Last night's G12 Meeting was different. Don't ask me how come.. but somehow, something was different. Anyway, u know what.. i really love leong and ng alot alot alot now! hahaha.. we may have our differences last time and things we cant see eye to eye. but i guess the Lord brought us through something UNKNOWNWINGLY.. now not only are we able to talk about it.. but joke about it! hahaha.. i dunno when the change began or what happened.. but, i know i found myself praying for them even more and caring for them! so ng and leong, if you are reading this.. I LOVE YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART! :)HUGGSS* catch it! omg! of course not forgetting my DEAR BUTT lee YING LEE from the USA! i really miss the times when 4 of us would go out.. be it whether its Haji Lane where me and butt was totally *****.. or the ice skating.. or the PRAWNING with ******... and everything else... i miss it! butt, hurry back! leong, stop studying! ng, hury finish your papers!! hahaha..

simple yet blissful-

leong! all the way for your assisngments and essay!

ng! all the way for the first and the last!

butt! COME BACK SOON LAH!

ohohoh.. back to last night's G12.. it was a very simple yet defining moment for me. After I have been meditating on the word of God for the past 2 days about the Heart of Jesus... God gave me a time to response to Him.. It was a time of divine exchange.. laying down my heart (my rights, my desires, my emotions, my feelings) and exchanging it for the Heart of Jesus... nuturing a Heart that will be like His... The prayer that Amos prayer for me really spoke to my spirit... :) thanks bro!

when people see me, they will be blessed because they see someone who knows the Heart of Jesus... thank You Lord!

Laugh Laugh Laugh!

me and clar had a good laugh at this! hahaha. just for laughs..

CLICK!
the blog that was with me in sec sch!!
only 2 posts but super hilarious

guess, that sums up my sec sch life.. an insecured freak! hahahaha.. right AUDREY!

Loving the people I'm stuck with first begins with a Forgiving Heart....

I learnt an interesting new word today.... STUCKITITIS. sound so cute rite! dont ask me how to pronounce it.. cos it jus sounds wierd when i try pronounce it. LOL! anyway,the meaning of it... stuck: trapped and ititis: six letters you tag onto any word to make it sound impressive.. uhuh! hahaha.. so can i say.. Godititis? hahaha.. okays. i am just crapping..

anyway, Max's Manual of Medical Terms has this to say about the condition:

attacks of stuckititis are limited to people to breathe and typically occur somewhere between birth and death. Stuckititis manifests itself in irritability, short fuses, and a mountain range of molehills. The common symptom of stuckititis victims is the repetition of questions beginning with who, what and why.

The prestigious manual identifies three ways to cope with stuckititis... FLEE, FIGHT or FORGIVE. Some opt to flee (to get out of the relationship and start again else where, but lest they realise that condition surfaces on the other side of the fence as well); some opt to fight and tension becomes a way of life; but a few discover another treatment - FORGIVENESS.

Jesus knew the feeling of being stuck with someone. For 3 years, He ran with the same crew. By and large, he saw the same dozen or so faces. They rode in the same boat, walked the same roads, visited the same houses. But how did Jesus stay devoted to his men? Not only did Jesus have to put up with their visible oddities, He had to endure their inviible folibles. Whats more when Jsus could hear His disciples unspoken thoughts. He knew their private doubts and their future ones as well! But how did Jesus still love them? How did He love his neighbour? Well, I am questioning because sometimes it is really hard to love the people around you when you know that there are happening around.

God brought back me back to this thought... Jesus loved Peter knowing that someday Peter would curse Him. Jesus still loved Thomas knowing that Thomas would one day question about his resurrection. Jesus loved Judas knowing that Judas would betray Him... BUT THE QUESTION STILL LIES... HOW WAS JESUS ABLE TO LOVE???? To me, this answer can be found in John 13. :)

1. Jesus saw Himself equal with His disciples - He was humble.
   With a towel and a basin, Jesus knelt before His disciples and washed their feet. He did not have the atitude that He was of higher authority. In Jesus' days, the waashing of feet was a task reserved not just for servants, but for the lowest of servants. But the one who held the towel and basin is not the King of the universe. Hands that shaped the the stars now wash away filth. Fingers that formed mountians now massages toes. Hours before his own death, Jesus only had one thing in mind. He wants His disciples to know how much He loves them! More than removing dirt, He was removing doubt. In the Bible, there is no verse which reads Jesus washed all the disciples feet except for the feet of Judas - which also means, He loved all UNCONDITIONALLY. Though He knew what will happen in future, HE STILL WASHED THEIR FEET.
   
   
2. Jesus has set the example - We must follow (V 14-15)
   Jesus washed out feet for 2 reasons. The first one was to give us mercy and the second is to give us a message. The message is simply this: Jesus offers unconditional grace; we are to offer unconditional grace too. The mercy of Christ preceded our mistakes, our mercy must also precede the mistakes of others. Those in the circle of Chirst has no doubt of His love, those in our circles should have no doubt of ours.
   
   
3. Jesus forgave - We also must forgive
   Jesus ensured that His disciples had no reason to doubt His love... I must do the same too!
   

To have a heart like his, it means to kneel as Jesus knelt, touching the frimy parts of the people we are stuck with and washing away thsir unkindness with kindness. Relationships don't thrive because the guilty are punished but because the innocent are merciful.

I am someone who sees relationships very important. and trust me, every relationship means ALOT to me... and today I realise that the best way to sustain a relationship is to first forgive and love unconditionally. I am not going to care what I know, what I don't know and what I will know.. I will just LOVE... just as how God has loved me, I will love...

God, soften this hardened heart.. and replace it with a heart that beats like Yours..
I forgive you...

Be MORE and MORE like Him!

God loves you just the way you are, but He refuses to leave you that way. He wants you to be just like Jesus.

The heart of Jesus was pure. The Savior was adored by thousands, yet content to live a simple life. The heart of Jesus was peaceful. The disciples fretted over the need to feed the thousands, but not Jesus. He thanked God for the problem. The discuples shoute for fear in the storm, but not Jesus. He slept through it. The heart of Jesus was forgiving. He refuse to be guided by vengence. He refused to be guided by anything other than his high call. The heart of Jesus was purposeful. Jesus aimed at one goal - to save humanity from sin. His life could be summarized in one sentence: "The Son of man came to seek and save the lost" (Luke 19:10). Jesus was so focused on His task that He knew when to say, "My time has not yet come" (John 2:4) and when to say, "It is finished" (John 19:30).

But... scripture says... ...
"but you were taught to be made new in your hearts, to become a new person. That new person is MADE TO BE LIKE GOD - made to be truly good and holy." (Eph 4:23-24)

Is my heart pure? Am I content to live a simple life? Is my heart peaceful? Do i thank God for problems? Am I forgiving? Is my life according to His purpose? Am I sensitive to the voice of God just like Jesus?

My heart seem so far from His. His is pure; I am greedy. He is peaceful; I am hassled. He is purposeful; I am distracted. He is pleasant; I am cranky. He is spiritual; I am earthbound. The distance between His and my heart seems so immense. Can I ever be like Jesus I questioned at times? Sometimes it is so easy to say... God I want to be more like Jesus.. Make me more like You.. but also at the same time also not knowing how far fetched I can sound. How impossible it is...

However God gave me a revalation today!!! :)
If I am in Christ, I already have the heart of Christ!!! One of the supreme yet unrealized promises of God is this: if you have given your life to Jesus, Jesus has given himself to you. He has made my heart His home! Just like what Paul says in gal2:20... Christ lives in me! However, I need to be teachable to be moulded to become MORE like Him. The same One who saved my soul longs to remake my heart. His plan is nothing short of a total transformation. God is always willing to change me into the likeness of the Savior.. but am I willing to?

God make me more and more like You! I am willing... :)

LIFE IS UNFAIR, BUT GOD IS GOOD

its amazing how you can hide and pretend that nothing is going on when ur heart is in total turmoil and mess.. superficial and in a state of denial.. thats all i can conclude and pray for God to softten your heart and open up when u are unahappy about things. sometimes things are done on purpose in hope that you will grow and lessen ur pride... hope u realise that but i don't think u do. after so many years, if the relationship for you is still like that and you are not willing to speak there is nothing i can do. honestly, if u talk about sowing and reaping, perhaps u should not be so self centered and look at how much u have sowed and reaped, and look at the others who has reaped in your life. perhaps what you have been feeling, you have been making others feel exactly the same way.

if u wish to draw the line till like that, by all means! anyway, i think u are totally closed(although u dont seem so outwardly) to me alr no matter what i do for you because of the feelings in your heart.

LIFE IS UNFAIR, BUT GOD IS GOOD to have surfaced this..! :)

of projects and assignments... :(

been 2 weeks and many more weeks coming of projects, tutorials, assignment and test... but God brought me to this mind blowing statement...

Our life is not our own property but a possession of God. And it is this divine ownership that makes life a sacred thing.

God,
teach me to treat life as a sacred thing and use every minute you give me well... only for your Glory...
Amen.

Chapt 1 (Part 2): Don't let circumstances decide how I'll serve the Lord. Let my conviction decide.

After Loren figures out that all that he had left was nothing but his wife, God brought him through a rather interesting test. Loren was on the make shift home van and his wife was driving it while he took a rest. Lo and behold, before he could close his eyes, he was swerved about the van left and right and the rest was history. He awoke from him unconsciousness and couldn make sense of what he was doing sitting in such a wreckage. Besides the mess that he saw around him was his wife lying unmoving. Darlene was not breathing and her eyes were wide open. No matter how Loren tried to call out to Darlene, there was not a single response. The only conclusion Loren made was.. she's gone!

At this very point of time, the Lord asked Loren, "Loren, will you still serve me?" What a question to ask at this juncture I thought to myself. And the thoughts of how I would react flooded my mind. Would I just brush the question away? Would I just leave God? Would I just not want to serve the Lord anymore? It was really a tough question to answer especially when I know God has taken someone so dear to me away.

God brought me back to what Ps Khong preached about today - The blood of the crown.
#1: Turns failure into FRUITFULNESS - there is great gain
#2: Turns frustration into FRESHNESS - there is gladness
#3: Turns fear into FAME - there is glory

I saw these 3 points so evident in Loren's life. At the point of time when Loren had lost his life and also his all, he still answered the Lord, "Yes, I'll serve You. I have nothing left except my life... and You can have that too..." Here stood a man who understood the blessings of the Cross and the blood of the crown. Though there was a sense of despair, but Loren still chose the Lord despite all that has happen. I can only marvel at how much Loren understood God and trusted in Him. There was a sense of gain, gladness and glory Loren carried with him at that time when he was with the Lord despite the circumstances around. And I totally believe because Loren chose to put the Lord first, the Lord honoured that and saved Darlene by His miraculous way. The Lord has indeed turned every negative situation at that very point of time into something that was for more worthwhile. As I read and reflected, I know there is power that God can release when we lay down our rights. Loren said in his book, until the moment he thought he'd lost everything, he never realized that nothing in this life actually belongs to him.

When I surrender my personal rights to the Lord, for His sake and the sake of the gospel, I can discover the secret of inheriting the whole world for Him.

God, bring me to understand a deeper measure of the blood of the crown and teach me to serve You not based on circumstances around me, but based on my conviction for You in my life. :)

Chapt 1 (Part 1): The way I respond to the turns of life will determine how far I can go for the Lord.

I felt like I have lost many reasons to why I do things.. and some how I feel like I have lost my primary motivation to labour for Him. Recently I found myself very bitter cos of the things that has happened.. not only just uncle eddie's death.. and finally I decided to pick up the book Making Jesus Lord once again. I read this book when I was a very new Believer and my prayer is that as I pick this book up once again, God will bring me back to what it means to die to self regardless on how people treat you, how I feel, what the world has become etc...


The very first statement of this book struck me.. It says, "It's amazing how one small turn can change your life forever." Wow! Just by raising my hand on that fateful day at TC really has changed my life and brought me where I am today. But on that very same note, the death of uncle eddie also meant a change of my life. Turns happen at every juncture of my life. But I have the decision to turn left, right or U turn. In the very same way, I have the choice to be thankful, grateful, remoreseful, sad, happy. The author of this book, Loren Cunninghem, gave up all he had and obey God at all costs. He gave up the ministerial status with the church, an opportunity in a multi million dollar business to obey the Lord to start an interdenominational mission. It was a new beginning for him for a new turn he decided to make. Together with his wife, he answered God's call and laid down both his chance for a bright financial future and the prospects of a successful career in the church. There was almost nothing left for him to give up.. perhaps the only thing left for him was his wife. It was a tough decision for this turn would be tighter financial status, lesser visual support from the family for God, but it was definitely a turn that he was grateful and thankful for though he had to struggle.

After reading this part, I asked myself, am i ready to do all these for the Lord. Now, I'm a cell leader and how far am I willing to go for the Lord.. are the different turns in my life going to affect how I will serve Him? E.g. Will I just fall away from God because he took my godpa and He's "didn't" answer my prayer to heal him? It is a question that I dare not answer too hastily. I can just say a Yes very easily.. but when crisis hit... will it still be a Yes firmly? My prayer is that I will live this life that will count for Him and in whatever situation, I will give IN to ANYTHING that the Lord wants from me. Not just give up because it already all belongs to Him... not just everything, because everything belongs to Him to start with already. God, teach me to give up to my rights and give in to You more and more.

missing you...

i miss my godpa.. i really do. new year is around the corner and it's the first time i am spending new year without him. i still remember the yester years where he would walk thru the main door and look for me and hand to me a very very big angpow and i would give him a huge hug. it was never about the ang pow.. but i can vividly remember him doing that every year without fail.. and it was a feeling of love, care and concern that only he could give me. he is prob the only one who will pamper me... but he just left without a word.. juat like that silently. if there is one thing i will hate him for, it will be just that.

after 1death, 1failure and 1no-need-to-try attempt, i will close this chapter. it's unfair and i do not understand the rationale at all and i shall not bother to waste my time understanding it. i'm upset but i will let it go.. it's not worth it. one and only godpa, godma to none. dont talk to me about the word god*a anymore. if i ever have a chance, it will prob be God's healing grace for me. but i dun think i will ever have the courage to ask anyone anymore. you killed all hopes...

God, you have the right to take anything cos you own everything of mine. It's hard to say this especially when a loved one is gone.

Kris†ine ♡ says:
when someone passed away, u may feel sad at the loss of a dear one. but at other corners of the earth, new ones are born..
Kris†ine ♡ says:
and fresh new starts are just beginning..

awwww.... :)